Album Review

One of my favorite bands is Dinosaur Jr. The hardcore-hard rock band is made up of J Mascis, Lou Barlow, and Murph. Mascis and Barlow were first in a band together with Deep Wound. Mascis is easily my favorite guitarist and my favorite Dinosaur Jr. albums are those on which he is allowed to shred for multiple solos per song. The other main ingredient for a great Dinosaur Jr. album is Lou Barlow singing with Mascis. Dinosaur broke up for a period in the 90s because of ongoing fighting between Mascis and Barlow. Mascis was always considered the frontman of the group and I think that he liked this image enough to want to take over the singing duties completely. The band's first two records were there best and my favorite is "Dinosaur", their self-titled debut (the band was called Dinosaur until they found out that another band was already called that).

What makes Dinosaur amazing is the change of tone and speed within the songs that happens on a dime. Usually switching between singers, the songs frequently completely change and the effect is powerful. The guitar style on this album is my favorite of Mascis'. Gritty and melodic playing off of each other. Some songs are pure shred and some soften up. "Mountain Man" is the most full-on hard rock song on the album and they even let Murph sing it. The lyrics are about leaving a relationship and society for the comforting savagery of the mountains. The singing makes it seem like the singer is going through an existential crisis and he couldn't handle a relationship filled with lies and apparently cheating. I love this song even though it is very dissimilar to the rest of the album.

My favorite song on the album is "Cats in a Bowl". This is a Lou Barlow song all the way through. The bass is at the forefront of the song with Mascis' guitar going crazy in the background. The lyrics are about being stuck in a rut in life and feeling like everywhere you go you're in the same place and the personal problems involved. "Even if I leave/ someone just like me/ popped out of the ground." And the ending suggests insanity and its crazy good. HAHAHA I'M SO FUNNY.

The reason this album is so amazing to me is that it captures exactly how I feel when I'm angry, sad, whatever AND I love it musically so I can listen to this in any mood. The angry at the world philosophy of "Dinosaur" is not angry at people, or whining, so much as wondering why bad things happen, why people are unhappy. "Pointless" is an instrumental with Barlow yelling in the background "I'm starving!" The world, according to this album, is boring and cruel and yet we try to find love. "Repulsion" and "Severed Lips" are love songs about how hard love is to keep and that no one is easy to please and no relationship is simple.
"The world drips down like gravy/ with thoughts of love so hazy."- "Repulsion"
"Hope I brought you some happiness/ I believe I just had to get on/ 'Cause this just wasn't a world/ I wished to need to find."- "Severed Lips"

Dinosaur Jr. went downhill for me after this album even though I love the next two: "You're Living All Over Me" and "Bug." 'Dinosaur" has everything I love about the band in great abundance. Hardcore is good for the soul.

Alone

When I'm alone, my time can be spent in two ways: wasting time and productive thought, work, etc. I usually waste my alone time. I'm bad at enjoying myself when I'm alone. I can walk by myself and i'll enjoy this, but I still feel myself driven by the urge to go somewhere. I don't usually enjoy "walking around", because I'm conscious of my lack of direction. When I'm going somewhere I can focus on that and my mind will actually think more clearly than when I am idle. I guess this is because I like getting sidetracked. I can work well at one thing and think about another when I get sidetracked. When I'm not engaged in some activity I get sidetracked by even less engaging things. For example: when I do homework that I don't want to do, and am not engaged in it, I end up doing essentially nothing. But when I am reading a good book or writing something I want to write, my mind goes off in all directions. Like it is right now... back to alone thing.
My greatest enjoyment in life is spent with other people, my friends. I am not very comfortable being alone because I don't trust myself to spend my time wisely. When I'm with my friends I am always doing something I deem valuable because I'm enjoying myself. I want to be able to spend time more efficiently and with a greater importance, when I'm alone with my thoughts. I like being alone when I am able to do this, but that doesn't happen as frequently as I would like it to.
I think my current dissatisfaction with my alone-life is due to being alone in the wrong way and in the wrong mood. When I'm angry I want to be alone because I can let my emotions be drowned out by the meaningless things I fill my day with, like television or Cheetos (poor choice of comfort food by seven-year old Peter). But I am never in a very happy mood when I'm alone, truly alone. I think this is because I don't know what to do with myself. I feel a sense of obligation to do homework or SOMETHING. My thoughts need to be enough to satisfy me when I'm alone. I'm getting better, more productive, more thoughtful, but I still waste time and oscillate between a number of time wasting methods when I'm alone. I'll work on it Universe. I'll figure you out. Just give me a little bit of alone time and some more experience.

spongebob and friendship

The most meaningful things in life are those that require reflection on why they are important. The obvious facets of life are not as meaningful as the thought-provoking ones. Love is difficult to grasp and it will be hard for anyone truly in love to explain why they admire their loved one. Anyone who likes action movies knows why they like them. Everyone who likes the "Die Hard" movies shares the sentiment that John McClane is a badass. But if someone loves "Die Hard" on a level deeper than that, that person has thought about it. The most meaningful and true things in life go beyond a base level of pleasure or obvious meaning. Their true meanings are ethereal, but when they are found they stay with those who find them. A couple in love knows that they are in love, but the explanation of that affection is harder to come by than than the affection itself.
Friendship is something I know is meaningful. People fall in and out of love all the time because its easy to trick yourself into thinking that you're in love with someone. All you have to do is indulge your animal instincts and then your brain does the rest, leading you to either a big matzo ball or a 50/50 shot at happiness. Friendship is more basic than relationship-love. Friendship-love is something that is based purely on who you are and who your friend is. I am quite sure that most people, when asked why they are friends with their best friend, would pause, give one answer along the lines of "similar sense of humor" or "he/she listens to me," and then, if allowed to continue, would list a plethora of ways that their friend is the best person in the world to them. True friends can grow apart just like lovers, but this comes from circumstances outside of the friendship. Friends don't stop being friends because they find out they aren't right for each other.
This brings me to Spongebob. The best example of friendship I know is the pairing of Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Starr. Zach Hayes will groan anytime I mention Spongebob, but I think it is one of the greatest kids shows of all time. At its core, the show was about Spongebob's unending optimism and zany antics with his best friend and both of these are great messages for kids. Like "Die Hard" Spongebob has action appeal, as it is a pretty weird show, but I love it because I recognize that the most fun the main characters have is when they are together. And whenever I watch Spongebob now I am struck by how true the character's friendship is. They overcome all kinds of things and they always are able to understand each other, even when they are awful to each other. They always come back to being best friends because they know each other. Spongebob and Patrick fight and get angry with one another, but they are always brought back together by the mutual love of just being together. They love each other's company and it doesn't matter why because they know it is a true and real friendship. If Spongebob and Patrick wanted to think about why they are best friends they would be able to prattle on about each other for hours, but instead the show's creators leave it to the audience to understand. Friends frequently list anecdotes when they think about why they are friends: this leads to the conclusion that they just love being together. Existence is meaningful in itself because it can be meaningful however one wants it to be. Shared existence in the form of Friendship must be doubly meaningful then. I would never ask Spongebob and Patrick to wonder about their existence. They should just keep playing.

thankfulness

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love it for the same reason I love Christmas, but Thanksgiving is absent of the regrettable expectation of a slew of presents. Both are tradition-based holidays and annual traditions are the most comforting events of the year. Every year on Thanksgiving morning I know how the day will go. Two things always happen: football will be on TV all day after the Parades are over, and DINNER. Thanksgiving dinner tastes as good as it does because we expect it to do so. And because drowning an entire meal in gravy makes anything delicious, but back to the point. Every year my dad, the cook of the family, does the turkey, mashes the potatoes, amalgamates the gravy (bits of turkey in a hot bath. Gravy must be hot! as my father's mother says), and steams the green beans. The green beans are never anything special in terms of taste but they are nonetheless as important to me as the turkey. It's a tradition to me now, to have the green beans. It's an integral part of the meal that I look forward to all day. Thanksgiving gives me exactly what I expect and this constant is comforting. Comfort food makes people feel good because it is the same every time and reminds them of happy traditions. Thanksgiving is a great day because it is the same every time and that is always welcome.

In my philosophy class (because that is the topic this week? Mr. McCarthy?) I'm thankful for anyone who talks, and is active in the discussion. I need people to argue and respond to what I say or I'll just ramble myself into illogical thoughts. I'm thankful for those who stop me and help me say what I mean and think more clearly.

First Quarter

The first quarter went well, I think. Class discussion was probably the greatest asset towards coming to an understanding of the topics we read about. When people were involved and everyone was making good points, the class discussions were very helpful towards my understanding of the concepts that were brought up. I also like the blogs as a tool for explaining and reading more eloquently, and perhaps previously unarticulated, the thoughts of people in class.
I wasn't a big fan of the group work in that it many times was substituted for class discussion when I would have preferred to discuss as a large group. With less frequency, I would enjoy the group work more and get more out of it I think. As a main way to work and talk through the points raised in our books, I think the group work is not great.
It was a good quarter, dealing with what seem to be the biggest questions in life. I hope that we continue to discuss these points and reach new levels of understanding.

Camus and Voltaire are voting?

Camus was a rebel who advocated the rebellion against social constructs and institutions. Politics, government, especially that of the United States, a system in which real values are veiled in party delineations, are the biggest social construct of our time. Camus wouldn't vote. If he voted it would be for someone who would truly advocate a minimalist government, so in that respect he would vote Republican, but his likelihood to take place in this institution of politics would be small.

Voltaire, in Candide, criticized aristocracy. I doubt he would want to elect anyone with the amount of power that the president has. He would probably favor minimal government interference, which would again lean towards the republican view. But he would also advocate the protection of personal liberties, which could lead to a want to vote for government programs and spending to protect those, or at least try to. This would be more of a Democrat view. But he wouldn't vote. Power can corrupt all and will corrupt all systems.  Voltaire and Camus would see this and try to get people to not vote and instead change the system so that the power stayed truly with the people. Or maybe they'd be Republicans. If they were alive I'd wonder.

The meaning of life

Every person exists in a universe that doesn't care about anyone's death. When I die it won't matter to the universe and I will eventually be forgotten. So in this sense my life is meaningless: it means nothing whether or not I die, to the universe at least. BUT within this uncaring universe I exist with other people. I can experience pleasure in my life and I can derive enjoyment from many things including the enhancement, artificial and meaningless as it probably is, of other people's lives. Meaning in life can be defined in these two ways and both are necessary and valid. Life means something in its self-contained, imaginary way. Pleasure, in essence, is the source of happiness in life. We seek a pleasurable existence, from which we derive happiness, from which we derive meaning. Happiness gives meaning to the universally meaningless life of a person.
The reason to live, as the absurdist says according to Mr. McCarthy, is revolt/change. We have this life so we should use it to make life more pleasurable for ourselves and others. In this seeking of pleasure and happiness we derive meaning for OURSELVES. To the universe, I don't mean anything. But my life has meaning in happiness. That happiness is meaning.

If happiness isn't meaning in life then what is? Being God? Getting into heaven? We don't need those constructs or ideals because we can live our lives as happy, existing people. Muersault simply exists and enjoys certain things, yet he describes his life and the things he does as meaningless. He decided to not consider that happiness to be meaningful in this grand sense of the universal meaning. He could just as easily decide to find that happiness meaningful and he wouldn't be imagining this happiness, and it wouldn't be any less meaningful in his life, because he decided to make it meaningful. The two kinds of meaning as I see them here are universal meaning (death and nothingness for every person, but still life) and meaning in personal existence. The latter is a meaning within society that can be as real as one wishes it to be. This makes it false to the universe but the universe does not define anyone's life, as it doesn't care anyway. A self-contained life in which meaning is found to the individual is as meaningful as a life in which we can get into heaven or become part of the universe.

Candide's punishments

Candide killed people in self defense. So he should not be punished. He acted as he knew best, which, at the time, was murder. Er, killing. But hold on. He killed that Jew guy just for being an ashhole (to use Matthew's euphemism) to Cunegonde. so that one, maybe we blame him for. And then he just kind of turned around and slayed the Inquisitor. So that two against Candide. He killed the two monkeys that were lovers of the girls. This was just trying to do the right thing, but still. Love lost because of Candide. SO thats now a few people/monkeys. Candide has been punished by not getting to see Cunegonde. And he keeps killing people until he will get to see her. Is it possible that he is not being allowed to see her because he keeps killing? Like the Inquisitor and his earthquake quick-fix, Candide just might be causing this evil against him to continue. He deserves any punishment levied against him. Candide has barely been punished, really. Considering the awful things that happen to people in this story, Candide is getting off easy. He has all of his limbs, both of his buttocks are intact, he hasn't been violated by anyone, and he still has a woman who inexplicably loves him, despite the whole murderer vibe he has going on. Also Candide ruins lives. No one has really enjoyed their time with Candide and furthermore, most people he meets die somehow. Candide deserves all punishments he gets.

How do we know what we know?

Knowledge is relative to environment. The mind can rationalize and convince itself, in a more conscious way, that one reality is "more real" in a sense. So the knowledge of the physical world around us is only knowable within the confines of that physical world. The mind is a miracle of evolution and every part of it was created for a purpose, to play on the generally accepted Christian doctrine of God's plan. The mind is a wondrous instrument in that it can delude us into thinking that while lying on a park bench we  are in fact laying on a bed of roses inside of a castle in the sky. The mind has shown clear possibilities to create realities that differ fundamentally from the generally accepted reality that most people agree upon. This reality, that shares the same laws of physics and the same mathematics where 2 and 2 is 4, has boundaries of knowledge, but in the inherent quality of boundaries there are inherent truths. A child is instructed to not go into a dark, decrepit house because these humble, albeit downtrodden, abodes have repeatedly shown themselves to be dangerous through the (can we say sacrifices?) experiences of those unlucky people who have had bad times in ramshackle establishments. We know what we know in this physical reality our mind has reasoned out to be true by  experience within that reality. Believing that there is more to reality than simple physics, as it must have been created by something at some point, I think that these realities may simply be homes for energy that has and always will exist. The only thing that can't be destroyed, only transferred from one form to another, as proven through scientific experience, is energy. This energy of life and reality has manifested in our physical world and the experience of that physical world, however much of a proxy for true energy in the universe it may be, is the only existence we have. Our reasoning comes from our minds, which are only reliable for our perceived best interests, and therefore experience must be trusted above all else.

who is the modern gadfly?

Who fills the void left by Socrates? Who asks the hard questions that seek to uncover the truth? Who points out the phonies?
Some would say that filmmakers like Michael Moore do this. The people that go into the situations that Moore goes into and ask the questions that Moore does, must have their work taken with a grain of salt. The bias of these filmmakers and writers in this vein all approach their subjects with a bias that can't be ignored, and really shouldn't because they came at the piece trying to convince people of a problem and how that problem can be solved. Socrates was biased, as all people are, but his method of questioning is imitated with the best work of Michael Moore. In "Bowling for Columbine" he goes after gun-toting America by just asking questions to these people about why they have guns and why they feel they should/deserve/need to have them. Sure there are loaded questions and leading questions that the person answering gets wise to but the person is made more foolish by saying "how dare you ask me that!" in answer to a question that simply shows this person with full mental faculties at his disposal why he is logically wrong. In the best and most calm and collected form, Michael Moore is the modern gadfly.

The Unexamined "Life"

That which is not understood can not be perceived as reality. Our reason is the only tool that separates the realm of reality from the illusory realm of the senses. Our ideas are what make our lives worth living and examination of thought is the only way to develop such ideas. Life can very well be worth living in the material sense of life. If you are in a good situation and have enough resources to sustain you and your family in healthy and pleasurable life, then this life is worthwhile within itself. But if the liver of this life of comfort and security does not understand why his or her life is meaningful to himself or herself then this person is living an illusion they can not see through. They are both the magician and the rabbit being pulled out of the magician's hat, but see only the point of view of the confounded audience. They create the illusion, become immersed in it like the rabbit is integral to the magician's trick, and somehow fail to see the true explanation of the "magic." Because the purpose of a magic show is to keep the audience guessing and for the audience to want to guess and try their best to understand. The search for understanding and truth is the examination of life itself and only if you ask questions of the universe and the magician who orchestrates this trick will worth be found in the living of life.

Eulogy

Sadly we are gathered on this web page to remember Peter Casey. His death was unexpected and unfortunate. He was a teenager on his way to becoming a man and with many prospects for life after high school. He was a football player who would have played in college had he been around for those years of his life.
His early years were spent enamored with comic books, Batman, and the like. Superheroes were his favorite characters. He drew comic books and until around the age of 8 this was his calling. He would be an artist! But sadly his creativity and artistic talent stagnated after this period.
A new activity took over Peter's life and this was the game of football. He started playing flag football and eventually played tackle and was always the biggest player on the field. His father being six feet and seven inches tall Peter was always going to be tall. His love for the game was apparent immediately and his passion kept him moving up the levels of competition and succeeding at every level into high school.
In high school Peter remained close to his grade school friends who, for the most part, went to Northside for high school. Friendship and staying close to those that knew him best was always very important to Peter. Life got harder in high school with more responsibilities, but being a good friend and staying close to his best friends was always a constant in his life.
In high school Peter decided that while football, and basketball as well, were great and would hopefully continue into college, they were not viable career options. Uncertainty became a new source of confusion and anxiety for Peter. Freshman year, as we are told we need to start thinking about college, Peter was unclear on his future. More and more through the year he enjoyed writing and his American Lit. class. The writing journal in that was the tool that helped Peter discover what he thought he might possibly be good at one day and that was writing.
Who knows what he would've become? He might've formed into what he was meant to be by the time of his passing. But the people he knew and the people that knew him, know that he was a good guy who was committed to being a friend and a rock for those people. Consistency and reliability to others were the principles of Peter's personality. He will be missed.

Peter Casey